Merge

One of the strangest practices we have in our culture is dating. There are all of these strange rules, nuances and politics that must be adhered to. If dating wasn't bad enough, there were some women* who wanted to take it to another level and play games. Jealousy, lying, cold-shoulders, etc. were a part of these games (i.e. they watch too much TV).

*please note that Erin, Merge's Marketing Manager, has informed me that men also play games. I wasn't implying that it was a one way street, it just so happens that I am a guy and have only dated women.

After one or two of these experiences, I made a rule for any future date: No Games. If we are going to date, we aren't playing games.

I can't help but apply the dating analogy with our weird system of sales. Think about the stupid games that are played:

-The buyer courts more than one girlfriend at a time (quotes, rfp's)
-The buyer says "let me think about it" (game, lie)
-The buyer says their budget is X (lie, they have no budget--and if they did, how could they without first understanding the solution?)
-The buyer says, "I'll call you next week." (what are they when they don't?)
-The buyer says, "I'm speaking to three other firms." (no you aren't. You're just saying, "I want it cheap.")

Imagine if this is what happened with dating. It would look something like this:

-I'm dating three other girls at the same time to find out which one I want to date long-term.
-Would you like to go to the movies? "Let me think about it." What?
-After a long courting session: Would you marry me? "I'll call you next week."
-I like you, but I'm going to go ahead and date a couple more people to make sure you're the one.

For sales, like in dating, you can choose to participate in the sales game or not. The great thing is that you don't have to. You don't have to answer RFP's. Someone says, "I'll think about it," you can say, "That's okay, if we aren't a fit we'll get out of your hair." The games played by buyers in the sales game are stupid if you think about it. There are great, savvy salespeople who can play such games. I think a better sales person doesn't play the game, but instead has a process to help the buyer decide if the seller has the solution they need or not. If they don't, move on. If they do, date.

By the way, the first woman I dated and dropped the "No Games" rule--is now my wife.

Bottom Line: To truly help your prospects, don't let them play games (gracefully bow out if that's what they want to do). Instead, have a clearly defined sales process that helps them make a decision that's best for them. Whether they use you or not, you both win.